Bad Words: Things Bosses Never Say in a Great Workplace Culture

The saying goes that actions speak louder than words. So, it stands to reason that employees react to and often emulate their leaders’ behavior—good and bad. How leaders act on a daily basis usually sets the tone for their organization’s culture.

However, the boss’s words also carry significant weight, often punctuating their behavior and reinforcing positive or negative workplace vibes. What leaders say and how they say it reflect their company culture and have a lasting impact on the employee experience in their organizations.

As the great writer Maya Angelou observed, “People may not remember what you said or did; they will remember how you made them feel.”

The Power of Words

Workplace conversations studded with demoralizing or critical language are a telltale sign of a toxic culture. Leaders are often the sources of this negative dialogue, and their staff follows their example. Even if people intend their comments to spur productivity, eliminate mistakes, or tighten quality control, they create an environment that deflates morale and can derail success.

Statistics show the consequences. For example, the American Psychological Association’s (APA) 2023 Work in America Survey showed that toxic culture resulted in 22 percent of workers experiencing harm to their mental health on the job. The number jumped from 14 percent the previous year.

In another survey, FlexJobs reported that 46 percent of workers had considered quitting, citing a toxic workplace as the top reason. According to an INTOO and Workplace Intelligence survey, over a third of respondents would accept lower pay to escape a toxic work environment.

How leaders set the example for discourse among their staff profoundly impacts people’s well-being, perceptions of their jobs, and image of their company.

Say This, Not That

Leaders intending to improve their companies often say things to staff members that backfire. They can be reactive, allowing emotions to color their speech or simply say things without thinking. Considering the considerable effect their words can have; they should adopt a more thoughtful approach when addressing employees and say things in a way that reinforces the culture they want to have.

The following are things employees commonly hear that leaders who want to cultivate a healthy culture and strengthen their organizations should avoid.

“Because We’ve Always Done It That Way.”

A leader may intend this comment to instruct a staff member about standard operating procedures. They usually say it in response to someone questioning a process. However, this phrase signals that the boss and the organization are not open to change or to hearing new ideas. By saying this, they stifle creativity and make employees feel like their suggestions are not appreciated.

A better approach would be to encourage employees’ questions or suggestions and have a constructive conversation about the pros and cons of the matter, which often leads to new and better ways to get things done. This discussion honors the employees’ input and allows the leader to consider new perspectives even if they decide to stick with the traditional process.

“I Don’t Have Time to Talk.”

Leaders can alienate employees and crush their self-worth by brushing them off with this kind of statement. Busy leaders may not intend the comment to have this effect. However, their refusal to speak to team members indicates that they don’t want to listen and that their time is too valuable to waste on them.

If the timing of someone’s request to talk is inconvenient, a leader can still attend to the issues at hand while showing that they respect their employee. A good response might be: “I want to hear what you have to say, but I’m tied up right now. Let’s schedule a time to talk so I can give you my full attention.” Generous listening is a vital part of a healthy work culture.

“You Should Be More Like Your Coworker.”

Anyone with siblings or who had classroom experiences where they were compared to other students cringes at phrases like this. Comparing employees to one another can trigger resentment and rivalries that undermine team success. Leaders can encourage healthy competition, but never at the expense of someone’s self-confidence.

A better approach is to acknowledge people for their accomplishments in a way that inspires others to emulate them. An effective way leaders can help people improve performance is to establish a mentoring program where more experienced employees help others become more successful in their roles.

“I Don’t Care How, Just Get It Done.”

Exasperated leaders might blurt this out if deadlines or a sale are in jeopardy. They may think they’re encouraging innovation and a can-do attitude, but employees may perceive that their boss doesn’t care about proper procedures that ensure integrity and safety. If this happens, their staff will lose respect for leadership and worry about personal repercussions.

Leaders who want to inspire their team to take ownership of their responsibilities should infuse accountability into their culture. They should coach people not to give up and look for ways to do things rather than find excuses. Most importantly, they should teach these behaviors in tandem with never compromising on ethics or safety.

“What Were You Thinking?”

Everyone makes mistakes or exercises poor judgment at times. Singling out employees to blame them when this happens creates a fear-based environment where people hide errors or point fingers at others to escape reprisals. They’ll also play it safe and not try anything new that might not work out, which leads to a stagnant organization.

Instead of instilling the mindset that failure is not an option, leaders should establish a solution focus among their team members. They should encourage all to practice blameless problem-solving, working together to fix errors and learn from them so they don’t reoccur.

“I’m Disappointed in You.”

Leaders should help employees see where they can do better. However, commenting about the individual rather than their output can be demoralizing. It’s much more effective and healthier to help employees focus on honing behaviors that will improve performance.

Leaders should also provide specific and constructive feedback about projects or tasks to help employees succeed with their next attempt. By shifting the focus from the “who” to the “what,” they can nurture their staff members to elevate their work and take pride in their accomplishments.

“Nice Job Today.”

Leaders may be surprised to find this phrase on the “don’t say that” list. However, this statement is so generic and vague that it carries little meaning. In fact, employees can perceive that their boss isn’t really paying attention to what they’re doing and just issuing platitudes.

To make an impact, leaders should recognize their staff members with timely and specific feedback, including what they did and its impact. Regularly extending meaningful acknowledgment is an important way to build employee engagement and commitment.

Words as Culture Builders

Ideal Outcomes founder Jason Richmond includes many of the above phrases and more in his Forbes article, “Avoiding Words that Create a Toxic Workplace.” He observes that such language has been normalized in the workplace, but at great cost.

“Saying these things can contribute to a culture where employees feel undervalued, threatened and disconnected, ultimately harming both individual and organizational health. It’s vitally important to be aware of the negative consequences of such intemperate language.”

Leaders can choose instead to develop a vocabulary to inspire, encourage, and motivate their employees. Their staff will respond positively to how this language makes them feel and follow their boss’s example, helping to solidify a culture that can make their organization flourish.